Monday, March 2, 2015

Slice #3 of 31 March Challenge

The Secret World
She could feel the current pulling her out deeper.  She could taste the salty spray as the waves crashed on the shore.  She could hear the water whisper its secrets to her, all but hidden under it's smooth surface.  She could see the wind paint the sky.  All of a sudden the girl dove.  She disappeared, melding with the water.  Her whole world came to life.  She saw rainbow fish dart away as she swam towards them and big black and yellow fish admired her from below.  An orange pufferfish glided by and revealed a huge sting ray.  When she came up she knew that she had seen a world no one else would.
Posted by at

24 comments:

  1. Austin's Day OffMarch 2, 2015 at 6:25 PM

    Hi Sophie!
    I thought that you did a great job with your SOL! I liked how you described it as the waters secrets

    ReplyDelete
  2. Austin's Day OffMarch 2, 2015 at 6:25 PM

    Hi Sophie!
    I thought that you did a great job with your SOL! I liked how you described it as the waters secrets

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownMarch 3, 2015 at 8:12 AM

    That was a really good description...

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownMarch 3, 2015 at 1:25 PM

    I loved your slice! I loved how you referred to yourself in third person. Nice slice

    ReplyDelete
  5. collar bomesMarch 3, 2015 at 1:37 PM

    That is written so well! I loved the description of the water and I loved the sentence that was "like she could hear the water whispering its secrets to her."

    ReplyDelete
  6. UnknownMarch 3, 2015 at 1:37 PM

    Wow, that was very poem like. I liked that, how everyone else missed that and only one person gets to see it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sofie RMarch 3, 2015 at 1:37 PM

    Oh thats such a good description! I love how you said that you saw a world nobody else would see.

    ReplyDelete
  8. UnknownMarch 3, 2015 at 1:38 PM

    I feel the same when I snorkel. I also like that you referred to yourself in third person. it makes the slice more interesting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownMarch 4, 2015 at 7:52 AM

      Thanks. It was fun to try something different by writing in the third person and I'm glad you liked it

      Delete
  9. UnknownMarch 3, 2015 at 1:38 PM

    this is super interesting and mysterious.

    ReplyDelete
  10. UnknownMarch 3, 2015 at 1:38 PM

    That seems really fun! I love the description!

    ReplyDelete
  11. grace napoleonMarch 3, 2015 at 1:39 PM

    WOW i LOVE how you described that!!!! it sounded super fun!

    ReplyDelete
  12. UnknownMarch 3, 2015 at 1:40 PM

    I love the perspective you wrote this from, it was really unique

    ReplyDelete
  13. Julia MMarch 3, 2015 at 2:01 PM

    I really liked this sentence "She could hear the water whisper its secrets to her, all but hidden under it's smooth surface." It was really descriptive. I love the perspective as well.

    ReplyDelete
  14. UnknownMarch 3, 2015 at 2:02 PM

    I love snorkeling, I went in Australia and it was fantastic, your description was fantastic. I felt so similar when I went!

    ReplyDelete
  15. UnknownMarch 3, 2015 at 2:02 PM

    I love your description of the water nice slice

    ReplyDelete
  16. UnknownMarch 3, 2015 at 5:46 PM

    I love your ending sentence, it ends the Slice really nicely, and your picture. Nice Job!

    ReplyDelete
  17. UnknownMarch 3, 2015 at 8:10 PM

    Your slice made me look forward to snorkeling again sometime. It is such different world. Loved the "melding with the water" line.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)