Monday, March 2, 2015

Slice #3 of 31 March Challenge

The Secret World
She could feel the current pulling her out deeper.  She could taste the salty spray as the waves crashed on the shore.  She could hear the water whisper its secrets to her, all but hidden under it's smooth surface.  She could see the wind paint the sky.  All of a sudden the girl dove.  She disappeared, melding with the water.  Her whole world came to life.  She saw rainbow fish dart away as she swam towards them and big black and yellow fish admired her from below.  An orange pufferfish glided by and revealed a huge sting ray.  When she came up she knew that she had seen a world no one else would.

24 comments:

  1. Hi Sophie!
    I thought that you did a great job with your SOL! I liked how you described it as the waters secrets

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  2. Hi Sophie!
    I thought that you did a great job with your SOL! I liked how you described it as the waters secrets

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  3. That was a really good description...

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  4. I loved your slice! I loved how you referred to yourself in third person. Nice slice

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  5. That is written so well! I loved the description of the water and I loved the sentence that was "like she could hear the water whispering its secrets to her."

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  6. Wow, that was very poem like. I liked that, how everyone else missed that and only one person gets to see it.

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  7. Oh thats such a good description! I love how you said that you saw a world nobody else would see.

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  8. I feel the same when I snorkel. I also like that you referred to yourself in third person. it makes the slice more interesting.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. It was fun to try something different by writing in the third person and I'm glad you liked it

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  9. this is super interesting and mysterious.

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  10. That seems really fun! I love the description!

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  11. WOW i LOVE how you described that!!!! it sounded super fun!

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  12. I love the perspective you wrote this from, it was really unique

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  13. I really liked this sentence "She could hear the water whisper its secrets to her, all but hidden under it's smooth surface." It was really descriptive. I love the perspective as well.

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  14. I love snorkeling, I went in Australia and it was fantastic, your description was fantastic. I felt so similar when I went!

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  15. I love your description of the water nice slice

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  16. I love your ending sentence, it ends the Slice really nicely, and your picture. Nice Job!

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  17. Your slice made me look forward to snorkeling again sometime. It is such different world. Loved the "melding with the water" line.

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